MAN?





Finding a good Christian man is not easy in this day and age.





I define a good man as a man with strong morals and values, and strong faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who bears the fruits of the Spirit (joy, peace, love, goodness, endurance, gentleness, meekness, faithfulness, and self control in Galatians 5:22-23), is hardworking, and who is looking for a woman with all of these qualities high above physical beauty and worldly possessions. However, I hope to shed some light on the ways to and the ways not to find your godly man of Christ. Difficulty: Moderate Instructions ​ First, get out of the mindset that you have to actively search for "Mr. Right". Right now, your only "Mr. Right" is Jesus. Matthew 6:33 says "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Similarly,


Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." In other words, dedicate all your heart, soul, mind, and energy to pleasing God, and He will take care of everything else that you need! That includes a man if you are to be married! I preface "if" because not everyone is going to marry. I have known women who have lived very happy, spirit-filled, eventful lives without being married. This also brings the point that you should be in a place of joy and peace in your singleness before you find your man.


Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." You shouldn't be constantly tormenting that you are lonely and incomplete without a man. Men don't want a desperate woman (usually). Being single is a wonderful time to focus your energies solely on your relationship with the Lord and allowing him to mold and prepare you for a life in Christ AND your special someone.


I have a friend who chased after love and kept ending up with the wrong men. She finally got frustrated with her decisions and determined to be single until she found her husband. She was single for three years before she found him, but she grew more confident and whole in Christ over that period of time! Create a description of your dream man. Sometimes we don't even know what we want because we don't sit down to think about it. That is why I suggest praying that the Lord reveal to you the type of man you desire, and then begin to write down every quality you would like to have in a man.


For example, my list went something like this as a young lady: godly, faithful, sensitive, intelligent, funny, hardworking, and handsome. I can't remember it exactly since it was so long ago, but you could create a list that is even longer and more specific. You may or may not end up finding someone exactly like the person on your list, but this will help keep you from "settling" for a guy just because you are in a hurry to be in a relationship. Save yourself for him!


1 Corinthians 6:13-20 says "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.


Therefore honor God with your body." Even if you have made mistakes in the past, anyone that is in Christ is a new creation. The old you is gone and He is making you a new creature in Christ! You are now the righteousness of God in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:17 and 21). The friend I mentioned earlier that was single for three years saved herself during that time because she knew that God was making her a new creature in Christ! Stop the worldly behavior so that God can be the potter and you can be the clay (Isaiah 64:8). Be feminine and take care of yourself.


In today's society, women are considered more equal with men and have mostly equal rights and benefits. However, it is still important to most Christian men that a godly woman follows what the Bible has to say about being a woman. For example, in Deuteronomy 22:5, it says "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this." To put it simply, a woman should dress and carry herself in a feminine fashion. I don't believe that means she can't wear pants or have short hair. Times and fashions have changed. I simply mean a woman should obviously be a woman in the way she dresses and carries herself. Of course, not everyone is comfortable with following all of these guidelines, but I think a woman should be willing to wear some frilly things, some dresses, some makeup, a little jewelry, make sure her hair is groomed and taken care of, and things of that nature. It doesn't cost a lot of money. It just takes a little extra effort.


While a man is looking to marry a godly woman who has a Christ-like walk, the fact of the matter is that men are visual creatures and are normally first drawn to women by appearances. Consider Esther in the Bible. The king was first drawn to her by her beauty but was won over by her virtuous and humble demeanor. Be modest and focus more on inner beauty than outer beauty. Of course, women should take care of themselves, but a woman's self worth shouldn't be tied up in her outer beauty. If she is focusing her energies on being acceptable in the world's eyes and meeting up to Hollywood's standards of beauty, men will notice, and she will attract the wrong, superficial men who are not necessarily godly or looking for a long-term relationship with her. When a woman focuses on her inner beauty and worth in Christ, this beauty will shine and will attract more godly men who are looking for a well-balanced and grounded girl to marry. After all, these are the type of men you are trying to attract!


Proverbs 31:30 says "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." 1 Peter 3:3-4 says "your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says about modesty: "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." While God is working on you, there are certain things you know you shouldn't be doing and certain things you should. Living a life of partying and drinking and mingling with the world is not the Christian life.


Ephesians 5:15-20 says "Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery (extreme indulgence in sensuality). Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Spend your time and energy doing godly things such as going to church and gathering with other believers (don't be afraid to do a little mingling with fellow Christian men), working hard, doing good to others in God's name, and whatever the Holy Spirit would lead you to do. If you are in the wrong scene, you will stumble across the wrong men, and if you are in the right places, you will more likely come across the right men.


Think of Ruth in the Bible. She wasn't searching for a man. She was simply working hard for a living and he found her while she was working! Most of the time, finding "Mr. Right" is completely unexpected and unplanned, especially when you put it in God's hands! All of the previous points focused on your personal preparation for finding a good Christian. In this point, I just want to scratch the surface on dating men. Don't rush into a relationship! As is mentioned in several scriptures above, we should make our decisions carefully, with prayer, and under the guidance of the Lord.


The world's way of acting is normally out of emotion and what they feel like they want to do. That is why so many people rush into marriage and so many people rush out of marriage! Because the world is all about acting on what feels right. The world often believes there are no right or wrong actions. However, God has a definite plan for you, and you need to remember to seek Him out first in everything you do. Date with caution! This might be hard to hear, but if a non-Christian man asks you on a date, you do not belong with him! Don't even humor him and don't feel bad about saying no! Second Corinthians 6:14-18 says "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?


What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people'. Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.' I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." Modern day society preaches tolerance and acceptance of all things, even to the point of being willing to be friends and be married to any kind of person.


This is not Biblical! Let the Lord lead you rather than the world. If you do start to date a Christian man, again, don't rush into a serious relationship. Start out slow, communicating by phone, e-mail, and light dates, like a dinner or a movie, etc. If you don't feel in your spirit that this man is marriage material for you within a week or two, don't hesitate to move on! This is a lifelong decision and it's important! Finally, after you have done all you can, all you can do is wait patiently for the Lord to lead you and your man together. Learn to be content in where God has you today and continue to grow closer to Him.


Be encouraged that God has a plan and purpose for you. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" says Proverbs 19:21. I will leave you with what I consider to be two of the most encouraging scriptures in the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Isaiah 40:31 says "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Author Unknown, User-Submitted Article


See ya next time,

-Lisa

@d2dlife1